Drifting from your righteousness

When drifting from your righteousness

I seek within me,

The very sense of what is to be upheld

and what to leave behind.

Moronic and insane believes,

I shrug off all.

Layer by layer, peel-off what is dead.

I start to admire what is beneath

wrapped, which no one relates to, 

it was left behind in the process of growing up.

Simple and straight, no veil

real and true faces, faces forgotten,

even the mirror fails to recall,

I constantly keep drifting from your righteousness

To stay connected with these true faces.

I Bleed

I bleed...

Torn apart, bruised
thread is severed,
blade cuts in further

I scream...

Unheard, unsaid, agony
Tormented soul,
soaked in tears or blood?

I plea...

No hand coming to rescue,
No heart with compassion,
Alone, struggling to hold on
Failing badly

STILL

I survive...

dead mass moving around,
looted, dead, dark inside
Soul perished in this act

DO

I survive?

ease your pain

We tread the path
Holding hands
With twinkle in eyes
Smiling all the way

Even now treading the same path
Still holding hands
With blank eyes
Bearing pain all the way

Perhaps it’s time
To bifurcate the path
End your strife
withdraw my hand
and ease your pain...

Are u there?

My words were bigger than me,
you listened to what I said,
you left it unheard what's unsaid,
surrounded by the miseries
and bruised with the pain
a silent cry inside
tears roll hidden behind mane…

It’s trying time
And you chose to stay apart
We were bonded in a strong bond
Then how come separate hearts?

Thought 2...

9.An Indian dream comes to an end, as new one takes over....A never ending saga of triumph of hope...

10.It's high time we start thinking...but about what??? "Peanut Brains"

11.No wonder you appear lost. It’s a maze called life!!!

12.Gosh I am fat...will surely start workout tomorrow (Should start the good work by having Last Pizza..Sob Sob)... ROFL

13.Close your eyes and the world looks so beautiful....Ask a blind man...your opinion will change.

14.The day I stopped chase away my fear, it stopped pursuing me...now we date ones in a blue moon...

15. Fallback taste the defeat and then rise again to face the glory...

16.Life is not just about standing in front of a queue it's also about at time standing at the last place...otherwise you may end up standing alone while rest of the queue behind you shifts to another place.

17.Embracing the destiny yet not submitting to it

18.My death was not your victory; it was your loss...now you don’t have an enemy to fight with, to defeat and stand victorious...

19.Courage is an inherent quality and without it we are just a spineless creature...

20.I was happy to have you, I am even happier to let you go. This is the first time I see you smiling.

watching this orgy

Surprised yet again!
calm of the sea ever tempting
invited...
I venture in deep blue,
ignored the memories
of its last plunder,
robbed my motives
dumped me on thy shore half dead...

Yet again, knowingly oblivious
To thy uncertain nature,
Off to voyage.
Wooden boat with a white sail
Riding high in good faith
befriend the crusader,
merciless and brutal...

Inviting calm of thy,
I dared to venture far
Shores blurred,
now vanished completely.
Sight could catch just the mighty blue...

Calm grew deep inside me
In tune to placid water
surrendered my oars, and laid down.
Watched virgin clouds,
flirt with sun.
White Greek clouds...

Eyes submitted too...
felt the calmness touch me,
and grew within.
Ah! A life in few moments
attracts to venture in the sea.
unabashed and carefree...

thy mood can change,
once ‘white’ clouds
next dark demons.
conspire with the storm
to shower havoc, coax the waves
to rise high, with a roar
fanatic attempt to kiss eve

Sea watching this orgy,
Will raise thy brows
To snatch back thy keep,
pull waves back in.
A war between the wildest
lovers, breaching the sanctity
to mark thy impression
muddle and try to conquer the waves

lost in my calm
caught in middle of the war
I may end up losing all
My calm, faith and innocence
Or witness the biggest of tussles
still emerge unhurt and braver

all is scripted deep inside
too involved in calm
I chose to keep eyes closed
live every bit of it…carefree...

Hold my faith

I have lost the hope
the world is no more familiar
afraid to be recognized by anyone
plan to run away from all known..
Submitted to the fear…

would those mine will ever understand
and try to figure out what's wrong?
Will leave me like a stranger
to save themselves, from my miseries
Or try to solve my problems
and embrace me within them

Faith which is lost
can be garnered again,
Holding some ones finger,
Get support from those shoulders
pat on back to console
caressing the head
to tell it's fine, don't be scared
a gentle kiss on forehead
yes we are with you always......

I wait to hold that finger,
tight hug and pat, touch of that hand,
a kiss on my forehead
to rekindle the spark for life
to shine again, and getting the strength back
to restore the faith..........

Thought...

1.Solace in a sacred relation called friendship...

2.I have chosen to get robbed of my small wishes in lieu of a big promise… This is a blunder...

3.As a kid I was rich, and now I am a bankrupt person with my dreams mortgaged to gain material worth...

4.Success and failure are two dependent states, which are entirely determined by our own self...I can be successful even after failing, just by acknowledging the efforts I made toward accomplishing the goal even though that was not done...and I can fail even after coming on top by comparing my growth with that of someone else and hence feel the relative defeat just because the other person has more than me...

5.Suffice is one word we seldom use in our life...and growth is one word we live for…but the irony is that the former is a solved quest which we never aim at and the latter is an mirage we try to reach...

6.Ever felt the joy when able to vent out the pain and agony, which at times encroaches our soul and pricks’, torments’ to penetrate even deeper is left inside...

7.Surviving is not the task, surviving with dignity intact is the aim...

8.With joy inside we can see beauty in the utmost ugly structure; hence the very notion of beauty or ugliness is derived from our own inner state...

I head to embrace success

With borrowed vision,
I will tread the lonely path
Dream is near to the end
Cold and pale, I face my reality…

Destiny never crossed my way
But when it came…
erased the path and footprints
Leaving behind me,
struggling to discover a new lane

Dual minded I venture
In the woods
No longer scared or worried
As have already lost my soul

Emotions are doomed to die
It’s just prestige at stake
Corpse of my dead dreams on my shoulder
I head to embrace success.

Survival of sorrows

Dirty mud filled lanes
with stink all around
a broken street lamp
tilted a bit with corroded base

It’s drizzling hard
all wet, rain pouring in
not a corner left dry in the
dingy home of pole n polysheet..

The blue sheet is torn,
with patches all over
like tormented soul
unable to rescue this time around...

holding to the corner
a week skinny structure
resting thy head on the pole
looking outside from the cracks

Sky is grey and wet
pain is growing inside
a warm droplet rolls out
piercing thy calm

Uneven blade cutting inside
saw on wet wood
thy heart is bleeding
Silent cries from choked throat

The agony, the plight
hitting hard with every droplet
kissing thy skin,
wading through the memory lane
probing and pricking each scar
Nothing has survived
Just survival of sorrows...

sun shines behind the clouds

In the far land it's
showering light,
spreading cheer and
life blessed with happiness

but here,
sun shines behind the clouds
clouds dark and grey
thick enough allowing nothing to pass

chained in the dungeon
trying hard to come
but fails every time
misery and pain overpowering it..

It's a dark night,
night which will never pass
I keep waiting for my dawn
ignoring the fact that can never see it

busy lane

Broad lanes of busy mind,
crowded with memories,
imagination and shadows
Churning every thread,
trying to weave a story
answers prepared,
for the questions raised
this self scrutiny goes on...

Trying to see the grains
detailed facets of everything around,
being logical
and then being the fanatic
full with doubts, queries,
hopes, answers...

A violent tussle going on
and at times a serene quest
machine working it out
to ensemble parts of a jigsaw
solve the never ending set
of riddles

at peace but still at work
actions all guided by it
a pulse going around
raising question on the very existence
then getting a satisfactory answer

small pauses in between
but not full stop
with the full stop
everything will come to an end...

By the shores of a red river

Barren cold river shore.
Limbs scattered,
stench, tormenting enough
to melt my bones.
Wish I could escape far from this,
boundless river
casting death spell wherever it goes.

Brutal and red,

challenging the life - it rose high, roared,

swept away the beauty.
In a flash, laughing alive moments

washed away.
Leaving behind,

the broken parts of lives.


My eyes are moist,
at the sight of this gory scene
But I chose to do nothing
was busy building a dam,

securing my life.

secure, though all around
me was vanishing,
obsessed with ‘I’.

Like most other,

busy building their castles and boats,

while thousands are struggling to wade through,

in a desperate attempt to survive...

My castle is ready.

I am safe,

while rest fall off,

dead dry leaves
or a twig facing the heat,

perishing in their independent struggle,

clinging on to the last white grain of sand
by the shores of a red river.

Washed Away

unkempt and dirty,
smelled of dry blood,
victorious I stood
in the battle field

Sticky dark stains covering
the battle field
and my soul,
with bodies all around
and behind me band played
victory song...

I stood there filled with joy (or false pride),
victorious...thinking of the glory
undefeated was I,
land was mine.....just land

There was a roar in sky,
echoing the cry inside me...
challenging my joy
and then it drizzled
blood red mud all around me

Can't stand my own presence,
what was it...
humanity taking over pride
or the moment or realization for
the victorious master of all

Ah! What pain , the agony inside,
realization when all is gone..
washed away with my stream of greed
With drizzle washed away the greed
and now I am washing the stains...

Unsung Song

Between the lines,
thy pored his heart
and flowing through it, tunes
of agony...pain enough to kill.
poisonous, pity, ugly or poor
call it what may...

Never murmured a word
not a drum beat
strings were even not tuned
composed with..with the never ending sorrows

It was for no one to hear,
except one..who never heard it
in the never composed
composition..were cries of dying soul

Surviving to be beaten again,
tormented and quashed
tune went on..with every sigh
composed till alive
complete with thy death

unsung unheard song
buried in thy grave...

I wonder!

It's hard to get
everything you desire..
it's even harder to understand
people around you..
life and relations
both are complicated…

Quest is to stay happy..
whatsoever may come..
life will deliver you happiness
only if you give it happiness...

Face it?

It is hard to admit,
the truth to our heart,
it's harder to admit,
our sins to our soul…

Life goes on, time pass by,
we keep on covering ourselves
in that hard shell,
anything can penetrate
but not hint of our true self…

It's hard to see the right image
without any mask,
without any veil,
life is a big masquerade party
shadows moving all around…

At times it does strikes
strikes to that little corner of our brain
where some pure blood stays for a while
to tell the truth…

but it's hard to tell,
so we search a secret keeper
that almighty or someone else
to create another myth of confession…

maybe someday we will gain courage to
face it - the saint or devil inside.
but will that happen?
When will we get the vision to see it?
and be brave enough to face it......

Things I lost, Things I gained...

How was my stay?
I asked to my self,
Was it bright, was it dark, or may be grey?
Puzzled as I am always,
started pondering,
penning it down,
cause words define me, define my thought,
define my soul..

Ah ha! I had good time..
I found you all, n we became friends,
and some friend came close..
touched my life, heart n soul
What fun! what joy!
That "official break"
we all wait for n enjoy..

Yes I gained, not only you,
but plenty of fodder for my brain,
enriched by this new experience,
though I got hurt at times,
but at times I gained...

It was worth to be part of this,
part of you all,
part of some beautiful hearts,
reason for some heart burns,
and off course some heart breaks...

And did I lost something,
yes lost myself,
to a waste cause..
but that’s what I always do,
get carried away, get lost,
and then discover my self again,
to ask this question,
Is it worth, what was the gain?

Comparing both the parts,
I decided to quit!
to discover to tread again,
some other unknown path,
to get the answers again..

You all won't be there,
in this new quest of mine
but you will always be with me,
Cause you are what I gained...

Rising with sun

Eager to see the dawn,
I lay awake at sea shore,
Waiting for my dawn!

Sun will rise from that farthest corner,
Separating sky from sea
The rays of light faded then sharp,
Will fall on water, will spread across the sky,
Painting the canvas with color,
Colors changing, and
Changing scene with every stroke of that brush,

I am cold I am wet,
My eyes are dull and weak
Weak to face the light,

Slowly with its rising head,
It will fill my dead eyes with life,
I will feel the warmth seeping in my skin,
Penetrating even further touching the soul

Oh! That would be the dawn,
I am waiting for,
Waiting to catch with life again,
Life will flow through my cold blood,
Colors of the canvas will shine in my eyes

The next step

irty, polluted,
profane, to be disdained
I wait for His blessing,
Purify me, lift me up,
Hold me & bless like thy child.

Touched by thy I am sacred,
Pure as bud, light as a feather,
Seed ready for new life…

Lifted from litter,
Dirty gutter of human miseries,
I rise,
To embrace a new life,
To take the next step