Thought...

1.Solace in a sacred relation called friendship...

2.I have chosen to get robbed of my small wishes in lieu of a big promise… This is a blunder...

3.As a kid I was rich, and now I am a bankrupt person with my dreams mortgaged to gain material worth...

4.Success and failure are two dependent states, which are entirely determined by our own self...I can be successful even after failing, just by acknowledging the efforts I made toward accomplishing the goal even though that was not done...and I can fail even after coming on top by comparing my growth with that of someone else and hence feel the relative defeat just because the other person has more than me...

5.Suffice is one word we seldom use in our life...and growth is one word we live for…but the irony is that the former is a solved quest which we never aim at and the latter is an mirage we try to reach...

6.Ever felt the joy when able to vent out the pain and agony, which at times encroaches our soul and pricks’, torments’ to penetrate even deeper is left inside...

7.Surviving is not the task, surviving with dignity intact is the aim...

8.With joy inside we can see beauty in the utmost ugly structure; hence the very notion of beauty or ugliness is derived from our own inner state...

Morning Walk...

A wet morning...walk on wet green grass, barefooted I felt the earth beneath my feet…wet sticky bit filthy but felt better then satin... Rain drops falling on me, and slowly I am all drenched...Small streams of water started to flow from my hair to forehead, and made way down on to my face...touching edges of my cheeks & a big one traveling on my nose...and the collectively merged on my wet lips...the touch is so soft and tender...as if kissing the rose petals..I can feel the earthen smell, wet soil and fresh washed leaves. A walk on the black narrow road with trees bent over it...as if this was a never ending walk...at least I won’t like it to get over.

I can hear melody in my ears, the sound of leaves flutter, birds chirp, splash of water, gushing streams, wind, horn from a distance, shouting school kids…and off course the orchestra inside my head...It was a perfect concert...

The grey cover on the sky mostly leaves me in a state of melancholy, but today it made me smile. It came from within...ah! I am happy, cannot overcome this unbounded joy, gush of happiness. Cannot contain myself, just had a smooth ride in this flow...

All those dead trees and bushes around me…reduced to burnt charcoal by blistering summer in this city of concrete suddenly became alive...life was oozing out, flowing on uneven track...along the cracks of dead bark, playing with each leave, kissing the creepers mounted atop the trees as if a crown…monsoon glory at full...

Oops, I stepped in puddle, but this is fun...to play with the rain water and to become a kid again...

It was bliss to get up early and see this beautiful painting, of which I was a tiny part...

I head to embrace success

With borrowed vision,
I will tread the lonely path
Dream is near to the end
Cold and pale, I face my reality…

Destiny never crossed my way
But when it came…
erased the path and footprints
Leaving behind me,
struggling to discover a new lane

Dual minded I venture
In the woods
No longer scared or worried
As have already lost my soul

Emotions are doomed to die
It’s just prestige at stake
Corpse of my dead dreams on my shoulder
I head to embrace success.

Drenched Soul…

Soaked...
walking on the wet pavement
trying to hold the droplets
kissing the skin

Looking toward the sky
feeling drops bouncing on cheeks
tossing back up and a splash
ah! this music

life was never so beautiful
dancing in the joy
a fit of laughter coming from within
heart swinging to the unheard tunes

Soaked skin deep
in this lovely feeling
the new meaning I have got
from you

All wet outside
drenched inside
suffering was never a bliss
but enjoying this sweet pain

No bounds to hold this
emotions oozing out
silent cry with all joy in it
state inexpressible
even in my writing....

Survival of sorrows

Dirty mud filled lanes
with stink all around
a broken street lamp
tilted a bit with corroded base

It’s drizzling hard
all wet, rain pouring in
not a corner left dry in the
dingy home of pole n polysheet..

The blue sheet is torn,
with patches all over
like tormented soul
unable to rescue this time around...

holding to the corner
a week skinny structure
resting thy head on the pole
looking outside from the cracks

Sky is grey and wet
pain is growing inside
a warm droplet rolls out
piercing thy calm

Uneven blade cutting inside
saw on wet wood
thy heart is bleeding
Silent cries from choked throat

The agony, the plight
hitting hard with every droplet
kissing thy skin,
wading through the memory lane
probing and pricking each scar
Nothing has survived
Just survival of sorrows...

sun shines behind the clouds

In the far land it's
showering light,
spreading cheer and
life blessed with happiness

but here,
sun shines behind the clouds
clouds dark and grey
thick enough allowing nothing to pass

chained in the dungeon
trying hard to come
but fails every time
misery and pain overpowering it..

It's a dark night,
night which will never pass
I keep waiting for my dawn
ignoring the fact that can never see it

busy lane

Broad lanes of busy mind,
crowded with memories,
imagination and shadows
Churning every thread,
trying to weave a story
answers prepared,
for the questions raised
this self scrutiny goes on...

Trying to see the grains
detailed facets of everything around,
being logical
and then being the fanatic
full with doubts, queries,
hopes, answers...

A violent tussle going on
and at times a serene quest
machine working it out
to ensemble parts of a jigsaw
solve the never ending set
of riddles

at peace but still at work
actions all guided by it
a pulse going around
raising question on the very existence
then getting a satisfactory answer

small pauses in between
but not full stop
with the full stop
everything will come to an end...

By the shores of a red river

Barren cold river shore.
Limbs scattered,
stench, tormenting enough
to melt my bones.
Wish I could escape far from this,
boundless river
casting death spell wherever it goes.

Brutal and red,

challenging the life - it rose high, roared,

swept away the beauty.
In a flash, laughing alive moments

washed away.
Leaving behind,

the broken parts of lives.


My eyes are moist,
at the sight of this gory scene
But I chose to do nothing
was busy building a dam,

securing my life.

secure, though all around
me was vanishing,
obsessed with ‘I’.

Like most other,

busy building their castles and boats,

while thousands are struggling to wade through,

in a desperate attempt to survive...

My castle is ready.

I am safe,

while rest fall off,

dead dry leaves
or a twig facing the heat,

perishing in their independent struggle,

clinging on to the last white grain of sand
by the shores of a red river.

Dew Drops

It's hard to get
everything you desire..
it's even harder to understand
people around you..
life and relations
both are complicated…

Quest is to stay happy..
whatsoever may come..
life will deliver you happiness
only if you give it happiness...

Still I find it hard
to forget those days
like sand it slipped away
won't come back ever
lost with time,

inside me are
the fading, yet fresh memories
more I try to move on,
more I get soaked in the
never ending, but sweet pain

yes you were right
I feel fresh,
After expressing the unexpressed
found reason for this turmoil

but I will move on
to give happiness to life
to get happiness from life
contended with the tiny dew drops
cherish it lifelong....

Washed Away

unkempt and dirty,
smelled of dry blood,
victorious I stood
in the battle field

Sticky dark stains covering
the battle field
and my soul,
with bodies all around
and behind me band played
victory song...

I stood there filled with joy (or false pride),
victorious...thinking of the glory
undefeated was I,
land was mine.....just land

There was a roar in sky,
echoing the cry inside me...
challenging my joy
and then it drizzled
blood red mud all around me

Can't stand my own presence,
what was it...
humanity taking over pride
or the moment or realization for
the victorious master of all

Ah! What pain , the agony inside,
realization when all is gone..
washed away with my stream of greed
With drizzle washed away the greed
and now I am washing the stains...

Unsung Song

Between the lines,
thy pored his heart
and flowing through it, tunes
of agony...pain enough to kill.
poisonous, pity, ugly or poor
call it what may...

Never murmured a word
not a drum beat
strings were even not tuned
composed with..with the never ending sorrows

It was for no one to hear,
except one..who never heard it
in the never composed
composition..were cries of dying soul

Surviving to be beaten again,
tormented and quashed
tune went on..with every sigh
composed till alive
complete with thy death

unsung unheard song
buried in thy grave...

I wonder!

It's hard to get
everything you desire..
it's even harder to understand
people around you..
life and relations
both are complicated…

Quest is to stay happy..
whatsoever may come..
life will deliver you happiness
only if you give it happiness...

Down the memory lane...

All over in my memory lane
you are there
can recall walking to school,
holding your hand
climbing up on your shoulders
being the biggest cheater
cause I know you will support me...

Asking for that pretty doll,
waiting for your birthday present,
when you are not around,
and even mistaking someone else for you...

asking mom to make your fav dish
when you are back from outstation,
cause we shared our favorites’
fighting with all,
telling then you love me n only me...

Ever ready to listen to those,
cute jingles you made for me,
recognizing you by Mustache
even while sleeping...


yes you were the bestest
I wish you were around
to be with mom,
to enjoy the joys you deserved,
for we to still live carefree
knowing you are around...

I miss you...
You still are the bestest...

Face it?

It is hard to admit,
the truth to our heart,
it's harder to admit,
our sins to our soul…

Life goes on, time pass by,
we keep on covering ourselves
in that hard shell,
anything can penetrate
but not hint of our true self…

It's hard to see the right image
without any mask,
without any veil,
life is a big masquerade party
shadows moving all around…

At times it does strikes
strikes to that little corner of our brain
where some pure blood stays for a while
to tell the truth…

but it's hard to tell,
so we search a secret keeper
that almighty or someone else
to create another myth of confession…

maybe someday we will gain courage to
face it - the saint or devil inside.
but will that happen?
When will we get the vision to see it?
and be brave enough to face it......

Let's talk straight....

Let's talk straight.
with no frills,
no masks, no veil
just truth, no lies

I have stopped identifying,
with your carmel coated words.
Cause that's not you,
you do not mean a single word.

Stop being politically correct,
stop playing this game.
I can take it, what may come,
but bearing this is shame.

We were not like this,
nor on any terms we got along.
If it's time to part, tell me?
Don't say it will go on...

Let's just talk straight....